FIGHTING AGAINST OURSELVES

Judges 19:1-20:48; John 3:22-4:3; Psalm 104:24-35; Proverbs 14:22-24

“They had asked the Lord, ‘Should we fight against our relatives from Benjamin again?’ And the Lord had said, ‘Go out and fight against them.’”

“He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. He has come from above and is greater than anyone else. We are of the earth, and we speak of earthly things, but he has come from heaven and is greater than anyone else. He testifies about what he has seen and heard, but how few believe what he tells them! Anyone who accepts his testimony can affirm that God is true. For he is sent by God. He speaks God’s words, for God gives him the Spirit without limit.”

“When you give them your breath, life is created, and you renew the face of the earth.”

“If you plan to do evil, you will be lost; if you plan to do good, you will receive unfailing love and faithfulness.”

My all time number one enemy is me. When I’m not busy fighting with myself, the most consuming conflict usually involves one or more family members. Don’t misunderstand. Discord is not a standard part of our clan’s dynamic. (The kids have even readjusted to being back home and together for Christmas break, thankfully.) It’s just that we all occasionally are guilty of treating our friends and acquaintances better than we treat those closest to us. More ironically, we are not at all shy about demanding more consideration from others than we give ourselves. Perhaps this is merely symptomatic of the old saw about familiarity breeding contempt. No one, save God, knows us better than those with whom we live, or than we know ourselves. But that does not make dismantling ourselves or messing up family relationships any more acceptable.  

We all know individuals who have destroyed themselves from the inside out, or have alienated others so badly they have found themselves completely isolated. I’m not talking about those with addictions or genuine psychological illnesses. My focus is on those, like ourselves, who sometimes just let the emptiness, selfishness, anger or grief inside swallow who they are as people. Whether one is reading Judges 19 or Matthew 18, the Word is clear that those who bring cancer into the Body just cannot be allowed to stay without first being repentant and healed. The best solution, though, is simply not to let things get to the point of causing injury in the first place.

My personal experience suggests there is no cure for the “I’m no good” syndrome or family disharmony that does not include a healthy dose of prayer. We cannot truly fill any inner needs without the Spirit’s help, and we can have no communion with the Spirit if we do not spend time with the Lord in prayer. We can say we love ourselves even without Christ, but in the vast majority of cases, we are mistaking arrogance, selfishness and/or narcissism for genuine, healthy self love. It’s no wonder, then, that we lose patience with ourselves and our families. We just forget that we, and they, are both more loved and more loveable than we imagine.

For those so inclined, there could be no better New Year’s resolution than to dedicate ourselves to trying to see ourselves and our loved ones as Jesus does. We, and they, are worth the sacrifice of God’s own Son; it is irrational for us to give up on anyone the Lord has declared worthy of such grace. It also is a direct affront to our Creator to even suggest that we are a better judge of character than He. When the Lord told us to leave judgment to God, He did not mean for us to exclude ourselves or our families. Indeed, if we cannot accept His forgiveness for ourselves or share it with those closest to us, we cannot expect to ever be of much help in building the Body of Christ. Only the Spirit can heal us of our emptiness and our skepticism. What have we got to lose by opening ourselves to His power? It surely does not compare to the family and fellowship the Spirit wants to help build through us!