“David asked Ahimelech, ‘Do you have a spear or sword? The king’s business was so urgent that I didn’t even have time to grab a weapon!’”
“We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work. But while I am here in the world, I am the light of the world.”
One of the most practical – and important – spiritual truths I’ve learned over the years is that there is a world of difference between importance and immediacy. We confuse them at our peril, especially when it comes to the relationships we hold dearest. For example, I write this in the early morning hours at my office desk, having abruptly left my wife at the (very early) breakfast table without any real explanation. I had to be here to field some calls and emails before leading a particularly urgent training session this morning. Having gotten that under control, though, I caught my breath, began this blog and wondered if I wouldn’t have been better off using this “slack” time up front to share another glass of juice with my bride…. Particularly since I was in an evening meeting and once again working at the computer until after her bedtime last night!
Thankfully, I am married to a saint who understands what both spiritual and professional commitments sometimes require. When they belong to her husband, they usually mean she gets the short end of the stick. Nor is this anything new for either of us; over at least the last 25 years, I have been asking her to accept (more honestly, telling her there are) many priorities in my life which all compete for my time. She takes the definition of “good sport” to new heights, and I am exceptionally blessed! However, that’s not to say I “deprioritize” my marriage willingly – far from it. She also understands that. Outside my relationship with Christ, she knows I know there is nothing more important than my relationship with her. The fact that my focus sometimes shifts to other things first does not diminish her importance at all (though I have no doubt it often feels that way). It is simply a reflection of the fact that, sometimes, other priorities do become more immediate.
Now, I’m not smart enough to have figured this out on my own. I was taught to pay attention to the distinction between importance and immediacy by a dear Christian brother in an accountability group from years past. He urged me to take time to explain it clearly to all those in my life at a critical time when both my relationships and external priorities were suffering because there just was not enough of me to go around. It did not save our marriage, but it sure helped smooth over some pretty rough patches in the road. I now understand a lot fewer relationships would fail if those in them understood that heightened immediacy of one priority does not necessarily diminish the fundamental importance of others. Of course, this is not a distinction to be taken lightly or overused, either. We must not ever forget important is still important, and will always require its share of quality and quantity time. But it helps to know when a temporary immediacy which does not include us nevertheless does not threaten us or other fundamentally important priorities.
David understood. He, the anointed king-in-waiting, literally left behind his wife and all the trappings of his coming kingdom to save his skin from Saul’s spears and arrows. (Assassination attempts have a nasty way of clarifying the immediate, if not the important.) He even left his personal sword, ancient symbol of power, behind in his haste to escape. He was not abandoning his calling, his spouse or his nation. He was preserving himself to fulfill it and ultimately lead them. It probably did not feel that way to Michal when he left, either. (We’ll get to her less than charitable reaction to his eventual return from a particularly long battle later. Even longsuffering wives have their justifiable limits….) But here’s the ultimate fact. God saw to it that what was important was restored, even better than before. One might say David’s reign was actually reaffirmed in the process, as he came out of it with a better weapon and a more committed following. After all, Goliath’s sword is about as close as the Bible ever gets to Excaliber. David knew his priorities and understood the difference between immediacy and importance. So, it seems, does God. Therefore, the next time we face a legitimate conflict between the two, maybe those around us who also understand will be a little less judgmental, and we will feel a little less guilty.
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