INVASIONS OF SELF

Numbers 19:1-20:29; Luke 1:1-25; Psalm 56:1-13; Proverbs 11:8

 “…And the Lord said to Moses, ‘You and Aaron must take the staff and assemble the entire community. As the people watch, speak to the rock over there, and it will pour out its water. You will provide enough water from the rock to satisfy the whole community and their livestock.’ …Then he and Aaron summoned the people to come and gather at the rock. “Listen, you rebels!” he shouted. “Must we bring you water from this rock?” Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. So the entire community and their livestock drank their fill. But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, ‘Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!’”

 “Zechariah said to the angel, ‘How can I be sure this will happen? I’m an old man now, and my wife is also well along in years.’ Then the angel said, ‘I am Gabriel! I stand in the very presence of God. It was he who sent me to bring you this good news! But now, since you didn’t believe what I said, you will be silent and unable to speak until the child is born. For my words will certainly be fulfilled at the proper time.’”

“But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in you. 
I praise God for what he has promised. 
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?  What can mere mortals do to me?”

Moses got a raw deal. So did Zechariah. But I understand why. They doubted God, and fell back on their own power and understanding. Moses shouted. “Must we bring you water from this rock?” Zechariah said, “How can I be sure this will happen? I’m an old man now….’ In each case, suddenly, God’s blessing and grace became all about the person. Consequently, while God still provided the blessing He’d planned from the beginning, Moses’ and Zechariah’s share was less than either hoped.

It’s actually something of a relief to find I am not the only one who suffers from unwanted “invasions of self” during otherwise perfectly good ministry opportunities.  Years ago, I was asked to take over a project where others had failed.  Rather arrogantly, I declared that, this time, we would do it the right way (meaning, of course, my way) and promptly drove everyone into the ground with legalistic standards and unreasonable demands. Fortunately, a friend (thank Jesus I still had one!) came along about that time and suggested we just do it God’s way. The Lord won, and I have never forgotten the lesson.  Given the chance, I will insinuate my self into any of God’s work where there is any recognition to be had, and I will promptly screw it up, unless saved from my self by the grace of God.  

Grace is a wonderful thing, and mature Christians should know better than to take advantage of it.  But ambition, power and even doubt are seductive things, and they are more than happy to take advantage of anyone they can, especially mature Christians who have forgotten the blessings of humility.  So, it is better to fall back on grace than on our own strength and understanding.  Hopefully, the next time I start to think God can’t do it without me, I pray Christ will continue to have mercy on me and that the Spirit will send another of its “angels” to set me back on the straight and narrow.  The power of the Lord is too much for any individual to handle.  We should not presume to do so.  It’s perfectly OK to let God be God and accept the blessing the way it is given, without question or trying to “improve” on it ourselves.  In fact, that’s actually a better way of ministering: just let God be God, and try to stay out of His way….