RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Jeremiah 35:1-36:32; 1 Timothy 5:1-25; Psalm 89:14-37; Proverbs 25:25-27

“This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says: Go and say to the people in Judah and Jerusalem, ‘Come and learn a lesson about how to obey me. The Recabites do not drink wine to this day because their ancestor Jehonadab told them not to. But I have spoken to you again and again, and you refuse to obey me. Time after time I sent you prophets, who told you, ‘Turn from your wicked ways, and start doing things right. Stop worshiping other gods so that you might live in peace here in the land I have given to you and your ancestors.’ But you would not listen to me or obey me.”

“Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters…. But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers…. Do not listen to an accusation against an elder unless it is confirmed by two or three witnesses. Those who sin should be reprimanded in front of the whole church; this will serve as a strong warning to others. ”

“…If they do not obey my decrees and fail to keep my commands, then I will punish their sin with the rod, and their disobedience with beating. But I will never stop loving him nor fail to keep my promise to him. No, I will not break my covenant; I will not take back a single word I said.”

“Good news from far away is like cold water to the thirsty.

If we are ever going to get along with others – be they family, friends, strangers or other nations – we have got to learn to communicate better and understand rules of engagement. More important, we need to understand what needs to be said and the right time to say it. Too frequently, the message we intend to send gets lost in misinterpretation, the receiver’s expectations, perceived innuendo or secondary meanings. Our body language gives away our true heart and exposes our words as, at best, misleading. We do not understand our audience and say things in a way that alienates or simply cannot be heard. No matter the context, as far as communication is concerned, delivery is every bit as important as content.

I was reminded of this once again recently when working with one of our summer clerks. I asked him to research a straightforward question, and he came back with a straightforward, and expected, answer. All seemed well, until I discussed the matter with a lawyer more experienced in the particular field of research. It turned out the question was not nearly as clear cut as the clerk made it sound. In fact, there was a real, unsettled question as to whether or not the law he’d relied on even applied to the specific subject. When I later challenged the clerk to defend his memo, his reply was he had written it as an advocate. He thought I wanted him to defend a position rather than tell me the right position to take. Thinking that was what I wanted, he made no effort to fully discuss the law’s specific applicability. Wrong answer; had I presented his memo to the Court as I’d planned initially, I would have almost certainly been blindsided by a counterargument I was not ready for and did not even know existed. Communication would have failed altogether because a fundamental assumption had not been communicated at all.

Sometimes, I wonder if the Lord might feel the same way. We try to put our best feet forward in prayer; we advocate for a particular miracle; we try to withhold as much “personal” information as possible. Again, wrong answer. God wants to know us intimately, which means, among other things, that we have to know Him intimately and recognize He knows us as intimately as we know ourselves. (He does; the point is, we need to admit that fact to ourselves and communicate with Him accordingly.) He wants us to listen to, answer and understand Him every bit as much as we want Him to listen to, answer and understand us. But we can’t, and Scripture is clear it isn’t because we don’t, but because we won’t, accept His Word as it comes to us.

So, rather than proverbially talking Himself blue in the face, God sent us examples. Finally, He sent us His Example. The solution to our communication problem with our Creator was not more or different words, it was for our Creator to invade our world as the Word. No more did He try to engage us with lengthy prophecies and messages of gloom, judgment and doom. He engaged our imagination by sending His Son to show us His Way is the only way to true fulfillment and joy.

The story is told so often it has become cliché, but it is still worth remembering. One frosty night, a farmer was awakened by the squawking of a freezing flock of geese just outside his barn. Sensing their plight, he raced outside to open the barn and provide them shelter. However, they would not go in voluntarily, and no matter how he pursued them, he could not guide them into safety. Finally, in frustration, he cried, “Oh, if only I was a goose, I could lead them all into the barn, and they would follow me then!” Perhaps; and perhaps not…. But the point remains: if we want to effectively communicate, we have got to put ourselves in the other fellows’ shoes and work to understand what makes them tick, so we can make ourselves understood. Communicating eternal truths by example beats words any day.