TALK LESS, LOVE MORE

Esther 8:1-10:3; 1 Corinthians 12:27-13:13; Psalm 37:1-11; Proverbs 21:23-24

“Mordecai the Jew became the prime minister, with authority next to that of King Xerxes himself. He was very great among the Jews, who held him in high esteem, because he continued to work for the good of his people and to speak up for the welfare of all their descendants.”

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

“Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper— it only leads to harm.

“Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.”

I talk too much and spend too much time trying to defend myself and my perspective. This bent toward self-justification is so automatic I’m usually into it at the first hint of disagreement, even before knowing the exact problem. I don’t know where this defensiveness comes from. What I do know is there’s too much CYA in my life and not enough concern about what that kind of mentality is doing to my creativity and relationships.

The fact is, when I defend myself, I inevitably alienate others. No one wants to be around someone so insecure they spend more time justifying themselves than listening to others. Besides, what hasn’t Christ forgiven? Do we really need to continue to impress each other with our words of wisdom and put ourselves over each other when Christ has invited us all to His banquet? It seems my defensiveness says more about my relationship with Christ than I thought, and I don’t like the picture it paints one bit.

A defensive personality just cannot be a loving personality. Defensiveness belies an emptiness of the soul – a need for man’s approval – of disproportionate and unhealthy size. When we get defensive, others recognize our insecurity has jeopardized our self-image and warped our personality. If we are filled with the Spirit and have accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior, our place in heaven is secured. There is simply no need to be defensive. There is no need to be self-centered at all. Yet, most of us still get defensive at times. Being right still gets priority over being loving. That doesn’t make it right. We are still thinking like fallen creatures, not like forgiven and remade saints.

The Spirit fills us apart from anything we can say or do, and nothing we say or do short of outright rejection will cause Him to fill less of us. The next time we feel the temptation to be defensive, let’s let the Holy Spirit take the hit. God is big enough to handle any criticism thrown at Him. If we will get serious about thinking with the mind of Christ, pretty soon, my bet is we won’t have anything to defend. We can, and will, be loving and right at the same time, and there won’t be anything left to prove. Christ’s presence in our lives will not just get us through but will shine out to others, no apologies or justifications needed.

And that’s all I have to say about that.