THE GIFT OF IDENTITY

Nehemiah 7:61-9:21; 1 Corinthians 9:1-18; Psalm 33:12-22; Proverbs 21:11-12

“Three families of priests—Hobaiah, Hakkoz, and Barzillai—also returned…. They searched for their names in the genealogical records, but they were not found, so they were disqualified from serving as priests. The governor told them not to eat the priests’ share of food from the sacrifices until a priest could consult the Lord about the matter by using the Urim and Thummim—the sacred lots.”

“Am I not as free as anyone else? Am I not an apostle? Haven’t I seen Jesus our Lord with my own eyes? Isn’t it because of my work that you belong to the Lord? Even if others think I am not an apostle, I certainly am to you. You yourselves are proof that I am the Lord’s apostle.”

“But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love.
 He rescues them from death and keeps them alive in times of famine. We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield.”

One of the most fundamental human questions we get asked is “Who are you?” The question may be put in a variety of ways, e.g., “What’s your name;” “What do you do;” or “Aren’t you Fred’s daughter” – but it all amounts to the same thing. People have a basic need to identify themselves and be identified by others. We each have separate names, but we also are known by the company we keep, our lineage and our generation.  In fact, who we say we are ultimately carries far less weight than the identification that comes from what we do and other external indications of personality. We may claim to be honest, but if we are recognized as liars, we will not be trusted or seen as trustworthy. We may claim to be Christian, but if we live as pagans, our self-depiction means nothing. However, actions alone do not determine identity, either. None of us, save Christ, are consistent enough to say our acts and thoughts mirror our identity all the time.

Identity goes deeper than name or actions. It also is subject to change. Who we are is not necessarily who we will be. (Think Jacob/Israel, for example.) Given that we can change identities, it follows that we run the risk of losing our very selves if we do not live consistently in a way that both claims and supports our character as children of God. 

How sad it would be, for example, to be a priest and not be able to prove our status! That’s exactly what happened to the Hobaiah, Hakkoz, and Barzillai families. Unable to establish their credentials from genealogical records, they were banned from the ministry to which they were called until others (actually, God, through the use of sacred lots) established their identities for them. We have no need to look back thousands of years, however, to find relevant examples of lost identities destroying ministries. The world is full of those who claim special spiritual standing but live in such a way as to lose all credibility. More personally, we are all members of the priesthood of all believers. Many of us go so far as to call ourselves disciples. But if we were pressed, could we prove it? Do we claim Him? Are we doing what we were made to do? How can we really know who we are?

While our claims and/or actions may provide definite clues to our identity, and can certainly reveal character or lack of it, we are not just what we say or do. The fact is, we are neither Christian nor disciples simply because we give lip service to the Gospel, go to church, or do or say other spiritual things. Like Israel, we are who God says we are. Otherwise, we are lost. Period. We may fool ourselves into believing we are on the right track, but our self-identification without the Holy Spirit’s input is the rough spiritual equivalent of trying to smash a square peg into a round hole. We don’t really fit. Our highest and best use is never discovered. We go through life with a vague sense of discontent, not always sure of what it is we are supposed to be doing. We talk of “finding ourselves” but wonder on the inside what we are looking for. Here’s a flash. The Lord gives us our identity. God knew us before we were even born, and He knew the plans He has for us before we exited the womb. Denying such things does not make them any less true. It just makes us far more likely to exhaust ourselves swimming upstream against the current of our Creator’s intent. My personal suspicion is we would all avoid a lot of conflict and personality problems if we stopped trying to be what we are not and were never created to be.

It’s an interesting thing to ask oneself who we think we are. As I ponder that personally, a number of answers come to mind (in no particular order): father; attorney; teacher; Christian; spouse; friend; and so forth. These are all ways I identify myself, and I admit they are driven, in large measure, by context. I am not likely to claim Christ before a jury in the middle of making a closing argument, for instance. (In that situation, I’m all lawyer.) If that is the case, though, do I have the right to claim Christ at all? Do I lose my identity as a Christian when I leave it unclaimed at the door to the courthouse, or in any other circumstance? One thing does seem certain: if my words and actions are not consistent with who I believe myself to be, I clearly give others no reason to accept or even understand my self-image. They cannot know me as I think I know myself. They may, however, know me better than I know myself. Conversely, though, just because I am vocal about my character does not prove it, any more than calling myself a moon pie will make me one.

I’m left with this. Instead of worrying about who I am, or who I think I may be, it’s time to change the question. I need to be a lot more intentional about asking God who He made me to be. Life is confusing enough without adding my opinions to the mix. We can make all the judgment calls we want about our lives’ ambitions and goals, but if they are not what we were created to do, we will never be fulfilled. If we do not know who we are in the Creator’s eyes, we will never reach our potential. I have no clear recipe for discerning either identity or purpose. That’s not the point of today’s blog. The point today is that I think I’ve been asking the wrong person who and what I am. I need to go to my Source. I need to ask my heavenly Father who He made me to be. And I have to get over my fear of the answer, and just make sure I’m doing my best, in His power, to live as He intended.