1 Kings 1:1-53; Acts 4:1-37; Psalm 123:1-4; Proverbs 16:21-23
“About that time David’s son Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, began boasting, ‘I will make myself king.’ So he provided himself with chariots and charioteers and recruited fifty men to run in front of him. Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, ‘Why are you doing that?’”
“’For Jesus is the one referred to in the Scriptures, where it says, “The stone that you builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.” There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved.’ The members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, for they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the Scriptures. They also recognized them as men who had been with Jesus.”
“Our help is from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”
David’s humanity has always been an encouragement to me. For all the wonderful things he did, and who he was to God, he still had his flaws. In particular, while he loved his children with his heart, David doesn’t seem to have been much of a father. Scripture does not record him spending time with his kids. Obviously, they were rebellious and did not seem to appreciate who he was as a man or a leader. He taught them nothing of loyalty. Probably worst of all, David provided his sons no discipline or guidance as they grew into men. He allowed them to lead completely unexamined lives, apparently accountable to no one. As a result, not just one, but two, of David’s own sons led rebellions against him and for a time sat as pretenders on his throne.
I give thanks to God that my Dad never let me get away with an unexamined or undisciplined life. He was, and remains, the unquestioned Patriarch of our family. My brother and I may not always like what he says, but we respect him enough to listen, and we understand we’d better have a good reason for any disobedience, because Dad will call us on it. He understands my brother and I and our families have separate lives involving facts and circumstance he doesn’t always know. But he also listens, watches and reasons as well as any man I’ve ever known, even today. Even when his advice is not quite right, it’s worth listening to because it is always given in love and with a desire that we see and lay hold of only the best options in life. The greatest blessing in Dad’s counsel, however, is that he doesn’t let us kid ourselves. Ever since I was a wee lad, Dad has insisted my brother and I be prepared as much as possible for whatever life threw at us. This meant being honest with ourselves as much as it meant being open and honest with him. But mostly, it meant being accountable, and owning responsibility for, and learning from, our mistakes. It was not a comfortable or easygoing lifestyle. It was not the path I would have chosen for myself left to my own devices. But I am grateful beyond measure that Dad had a better perspective on and understanding of life than I did growing up, and that he was not afraid to engage in conflict with me, when that is what it took to keep me on the right path.
All of us stray. All of us need others who love us enough to pull us back in play when we get out of bounds. As a Dad myself now, I struggle with how much of my so-called “wisdom” to impart to my kids. I’ve learned the greatest part of credibility is earned just by listening. But I’ve also learned that, after I’ve listened, they actually hunger for my reaction. The very worst thing I can do is nothing. They want me in their lives. They want me to be proud of them, but more than that, they want to make the right decisions, and they value my judgment because they have seen it work. They have seen me weather disappointments and job losses. They understand I may not always be right. They nevertheless respect the fact that I give them both my heart and my head when I share my thoughts, and they are certain I do so only wanting the best for them. Being a Dad does not mean standing apart from our kids. It means standing beside them with love and support and appropriate discipline. They may not always like it, but they will learn to depend on it. Trust and loyalty only come from personal contact. God came to earth to engage His kids. We need to stay engaged with ours.
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