FAMILY VALUES

        Genesis 31:17-32:12; Matthew 10:24-11:6; Psalm 13:1-6; Proverbs 3:16-18

“’Why did you slip away secretly? Why did you steal away? And why didn’t you say you wanted to leave? I would have given you a farewell feast, with singing and music, accompanied by tambourines and harps.  Why didn’t you let me kiss my daughters and grandchildren and tell them good-bye? You have acted very foolishly!’”

“’Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.  I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 
Your enemies will be right in your own household!  If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine.  If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine.  If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.’”

“But I trust in your unfailing love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
 I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.”

“Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.”

The image of Christ as homewrecker is hard to swallow.  It contradicts a lot of what I understand about the nature and heart of Jesus.  For goodness’ sake, God created families!  Surely, He did not do that just so He could tear them apart.  There must be more to this than meets the eye.

Let’s start with family.  My wife is the kind of parent I want to be: compassionate, fully present and available, loving, a true leader by example.  I tend toward the authoritarian, setting rules, standards and guidelines, and encouraging personal development and accomplishment.  In a word, my wife loves the kids as they are; so do I, but another part of me is not going to let them remain that way.  By itself, there’s nothing wrong with that – it’s actually how God loves us.  But things get messed up when I inject my own values and vision of my kids for God’s.  Two points are obvious: neither of us is the perfect parent; and, even together, we sometimes mess up.  If we are the best our kids can expect in the way of guidance, provision, security and even love, they are going to be disappointed.

So, now to Christ.  The fact is, our kids and families better have higher priorities and more certain guidance than we provide.  They need stronger and more focused vision than what we want for them.  The “parenting ultimate” is knowing our kids each have their own personal relationship with Christ, that He is a living reality which others see through them, and that we will be together in and for eternity.  Bottom line, then, is we have to get out of the way and let them follow Christ’s path. 

Letting go, though, is easier said than done, and just maybe, that’s what Jesus was getting at.  I am so with Laban, selfishly wanting family near.  But Christ is calling them outward and onward.  He wants to give them His wisdom.  If I am going to be true to my first priority for them, then, they must be free to respond as He directs.  If that hurts, or sets them against my limited and limiting perspective, well, Jesus expects it to.  They are His kids, first, after all… and thank God they are!